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Look, I don’t like the way you’re spreading your will, even if it’s in the direction of peace and love and no shoes; like some sort of inappropriate, tenured, up-state New York liberal arts college professor.
- The Thrilling Adventure Hour, Sparks Nevada “Croach Returns” Sparks
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Good morning, Sadie love! I’d ask you to rise and shine but you have a natural propensity for the latter and I can’t imagine you’re prepared at all for the former.
- Frank Doyle, Beyond Belief #140
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A Latino goes to buy a soda for 75 cents, he puts in 65

dreazil:

The machine reads “dime,” so he gets closer & whispers “quiero pepsi.”

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deathgrape:

I’m like 60% water 40% neutral milk hotel

1 day ago
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charlesoberonn:

Biology tells you you’re 70% water

Chemistry tells you you’re 60% oxygen

Physics tell you you’re 99.99999999% empty space

And I tell you you’re 100% a cutie.

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